Rhetorically speaking, Frank is about the smartest person I know. He could flummox Socrates with his clever oratories, at least on those days when the Greek philosopher was hungover. Plus, Frank would corrupt the youth far more effectively. Children, stay away from Frank, and his all-too-compelling arguments!!!!

There's 12 people in the world, the rest is part of the furniture.
Frankenstein Jones is one of those 12.

Good things happen to good people -- Frankie Bone Jones is proof of that. =)

The sarcasm jam on a toast to the porch of a dirty farmer of ill repute.....

At Disney Land......

Makes for a luncheon of perpetual laughter....


Truly the new F-word

Every time I think of Frank, I smile. Few people can cause me to smile as much as this man.

The first time I met Frank was online about five years ago. I fell madly in love with his brain and his sense of humor. Since then we've talked about everything from cartoons to scatalogical pron0graphy. We've partied together, survived together, travelled together, rung-in the New Year, built things, destroyed things, and lived to tell the tales. He is a gracious and supportive intelligent person full of very good 'bad' ideas.

I hope that if I am ever stranded on a desert island having to fend for my survival with only a few other people for company that Frank is one of those people because I know that while building a hut out of palm leaves, having to desalinate ocean water, or having to otherwise be radically self-reliant in a way that Burning Man has not prepared me for, that he will at least make that experience a helluva a lot of fun by making me laugh so hard I pee (which we can use to cleanse any wounds), making the trek into the wilderness to collect boulders for the sos message or wood for the signal fire an adventure that is fortyleventeenbillion times more exciting and rad than anything that Errol Flynn guy might have done in them there swashbuckling movies, and probably he'd make his hut complete with a shack porch made out of palm leaves and felled trees that would probably look an awful lot like a raft... hey wait he just built a raft to save us all from the island and he didn't even mention that my testimonial is just a superduperlongass run-on sentence - man, what a cool guy.

Frank truly understands the meaning of the word EPIC

I took a chance and he met me *there*.

Few people are willing to share their genuine feelings about those closest to them. Frank does that. I know no other person who expresses his appreciation for his friends and loved ones so consistently and with a depth that can be jarring to some. But he's not a hippie

He stuck with me when most of the rest just let me slide of this here cliff.

He's the third coolest lesbian I know.

frank is one of the funniest people i know, and that's saying a lot. i am never ever bored when i'm around this man.

Ya know, with Frank the clown makeup never really washes off.

The hottest kitten-raising stud EVER! Rowr! *purr* *purr* *purr*

so far, so good.

Frank knows how to take your Burning man blues, feed them a bit of Scotch and chase them way beyond the trash fence.

you don't see him coming.
he hides in the shadows.
he changes his shape.
run!

He's the subtle richness when you take that bite out of the Cake of Life.

franktastic!!!!

Frank is an evil genious leader of the Borg2 do-ocracy who can wrangle pigs like nobody's business.

Me and Mr. Jones
We got a thing goin'on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong
To let it go now

We meet every day at the same cafe
Six-thirty and no one knows he'll be there
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the juke box plays our favorite songs

We gotta be extra careful
That do we don't build our hopes up too high
Because he's got his own obligations
And so, and so, do I

Well, it's time for us to be leaving
It hurts so much, it hurts so much inside
Now he'll go his way and I'll go mine
Tomorrow we'll meet
The same place, the same time

Apparently he is an actual writer and not just sort of an internet posting wannabe. He's no slouch in the drinking department either.

Also, according to his testimonial about me, he scares much easier than he should.

I once ate bologna with him while french kissing, Respect

I once saw Frankenstein Jones try to smoke a dachshund, but he couldn't keep it lit. He was so stoned he was trying to light the wrong end! True story. I wouldn't make something like that up.

Sexy brain. Crazy brain. Scary brain.

Can talk about the important things, like pork. Truly gets folks. Actually likes his friends. Has wicked stories. A spectacular drinking companion. Righteous mofo.

I'd say more but them Hillbilly Visionquest cult folks scare me.

p.s. Have you met my friend yet?

They call for Mr. Jones
They put him in charge
Mr. Jones will help us out
He's a lucky guy
It is Mr. Jones' Birthday party
For another year
In his hotel room Party favors
It's a holiday

This is my man from way, way back. I thank him for, among other things, getting me into Tribe. Dude is the Frankiest!

Frank Jones is cotton candy wrapped in packing peanuts wrapped in ham. In a nutshell he makes mere men look like baby girls. And I don't mean that he has magical powers that magically turns men into young girls. No, I don't mean that at all.

Frankenstein Jones: man, monster, or myth? Neither the cruel dissections of Science nor the mob frenzy of ignorant peasants could strip him of his mystery. He knows of what matter the soul is made. He knows, but he does not judge.